A child's heart

Children are amazing. When given the right environment, their hunger for learning and their joy just blossoms! 

I am still in the process of learning about Wicca. One of my favorite things to research right now is the Sabbats. Yesterday was Imbolc. I want to share these holidays with my children, so I planned a few activities for them. We made Brigid's Crosses out of pipe cleaners, and even my son, who has a very narrow attention span, really enjoyed making these. After dinner we made custard apples. Well, kind of. The recipe I had said to make instant custard, but I couldn't find any, so we made vanilla pudding instead. Buddy didn't want to try this (picky eater), but I convinced him to try the pudding. He didn't want to admit that he liked it, but he did have a bowl after all. When it was almost bedtime we lit a lot of candles in front of the fireplace. We carried a candle to each room to welcome spring, and then we sat in front of the candles and snuggled for a while. Via and Buddy were so eager to learn more about Imbolc, so I shared some of the basics with them. They kept asking what the next activity was, and were a little sad when I said that was it. But they are excited for the next Sabbat!

Mr. D and I agree that we want the children to find their own spiritual path. I in no way plan to force my beliefs on them. I think that giving kids such a narrow view on spirituality is damaging. They need to find what makes them happy, and I don't want them to feel guilt over what they choose - or don't choose - to believe. Maybe then they will find their happiness a lot sooner and a lot easier than I did. I don't care which religious path they choose, so long as they treat others with dignity and are happy. But I am going to teach them as much as I can about what I and Mr. D have been through. If they want to learn about the Sabbats then I will teach them what I can. If they want to learn Eastern philosophies, I will help them. And I will never be condescending about anything they want to learn.

Living in a box

Today is Imbolg, the sabbat of Brigit. I am new to Wicca, so I have spent part of the morning reading about Brigit and how to celebrate the promise of spring's return. And how do I do this while living in a box?
What do I mean, living in a box? That is how I feel about what I am going through. Out of fear of major drama from my family, I live my spiritual life inside my 'box.' This is where I keep my beliefs, my hopes, and my dreams. I keep them hidden away from all but a few people, those whom I know I can trust. And the only reason I am doing that is for the sake of my children.
I know that if I leave my box it will mean conflict and hurt for them. The religious and closed-minded members of my family - and Mr. D's, for that matter - will not understand my reasons for turning my back on the religion of their choosing. I would be cast out, a fact that doesn't really bother me that much. My kids will not understand any of that, though, and I will not put them through it.
I think maybe if it was any other religion, they probably wouldn't react so harshly. I could also be over-reacting. Maybe they would just pretend that I'm not a witch, the way that they pretend my gay cousin's boyfriend is just his roommate. Maybe they would pretend I don't exist, they way my Grandfather treated me when he found out I was pregnant and unmarried.
I know my Mother would be devastated. Maybe that's why I want to keep quiet. After all, an it harm none, do as you will. By opening my box I know it will harm people. So I have this conundrum. If I open this box I will hurt others. If I keep this box closed, I hurt myself. What do I do?
I keep it closed, at least for now. When the time is right I will step out of my box. But until then, I will teach my children how to make Brigit's Crosses, treat nature and others with respect, and a little bit of magick.
Blessed Be.